


This Isn't About The Hammer

by daphnomancy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Friends to Lovers, Godzilla - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Slow Build, Thundershield Fan Works Exchange 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4454885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daphnomancy/pseuds/daphnomancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve can't lift the hammer, everyone keeps saying weird stuff to him and Thor, Avengers go avenging, Hydra is still terrible, Godzilla shows up in Japan, it's all pretty crazy. Steve and Thor don't know how they'd get through it if they didn't have each other as friends...</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't About The Hammer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sassystarrynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassystarrynight/gifts).



> This was written for the 2015 Thundershield works exchange, for sassystarrynight! Included here are some (but alas! not all!) of the things they asked for;
> 
> • Everyone thinks we're together but we aren't  
> • Long distance relationships  
> • Didn't realize I loved you until I almost lost you.  
> • Bottom!Thor (yay!)
> 
> Also included;  
> • Oblique nods to old-school Godzilla movies!  
> • All the Avengers knowing what's up before our two best blonds do!  
> • Sam/Bucky!  
> • Excessive amounts of dialogue!  
> • Blatant disregard for Joss Whedon's Age of Ultron timeline. Sorry.
> 
> This is the first time I have ever done a fic/works exchange, and I gotta say, it's leaving me very nervous! I hope you like it, sassystarrynight! I tried to include as much of what you asked for! It gets a little angsty in the middle, but hopefully not too bad! I'm not very good at writing nice/cute stuff, but I think I did okay! (Also, this is my first time writing bottom!Thor, so it seemed apropos that it be Thor's first time bottoming.)

* * *

 “Ready?” Steve called out.

“Aye!” Thor boomed back.

Steve flung his shield at Thor and grinned as Thor swung the hammer and hit it; loud clang echoing like a gong through the gym. The shield hit three walls and then crashed into the coke can they were using as a target. They had been trying to hit it for the better part of an hour, Sam, Bucky and Clint watching on. They were even tempted to bring Tony and Bruce in on the attempts, if only to have the opinions of physics experts to work with.

The coke can was knocked up into the air and landed back down on the floor, dented perfectly in the middle.

Steve threw his hands in the air with a whoop, catching the shield as it flew back to him. He and Thor grinned at each other, tossing aside the shield and hammer and ran to look at the can. They both grinned at the others who were striding towards them to examine the can as well. Clint picked it up and held it for all five of them to look at. Bucky and Sam nodded appreciatively.

“Look at that,” said Thor with a laugh. “Dead center.”

“Yeah, but can you do it twice?” Bucky asked.

“With practice, sure,” said Sam. “They got pretty close for the most part.”

“Can’s a small target,” Bucky replied.

“I don’t know, a shield’s a big weapon,” said Clint.

“Well not all of us have your eyes, Barton,” Thor said, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “But you could not best our attempt. Steven and I have strength none of you possess.”

“Hey now,” Bucky said. “Those are fighting words.”

“Yeah,” replied Sam. “That needs to be tested.”

“By all means,” said Thor, gesturing at where he had set Mjölnir down.

Sam and Bucky stepped over to the hammer and shield. Sam picked up the hammer first, easily, testing the weight of it in his hand. The two of them stood close and Steve could not hear what they were murmuring to one another. Sam passed the hammer over Bucky who passed it back and forth between his flesh hand and his metal one. Steve watched them, whatever happiness he had been feeling becoming heavy in his stomach. He and Thor stepped back to the bench as Sam and Bucky started tossing the shield and hammer around. He sat down quietly.

“Are you alright?” Thor asked softly sitting next to him. His leg was warm against Steve’s, grounding.

“Yeah, sure. Fine.” Thor turned to face him and Steve felt a small flush rise on his cheeks. “Really, I’m fine,” he tried again.

Thor nodded and swung his arm over Steve’s shoulder. Steve sighed, and let himself lean back into Thor just a little bit as they watched Sam, Bucky and Clint. Steve and Thor were forgotten as the three of them started fooling around talking trajectories and angles.

“You were happy a moment ago. You are not now,” Thor said quietly.

“Really, I’m okay.”

Thor nodded once more and turned to watch the others. They were silent for a moment; Steve thought perhaps Thor was going to take his arm away, but did not. It was as if Thor was pinning him down, keeping him from flying away with this thoughts.

“It surprised me— surprised all of us — when Wilson lifted the hammer the first time, do you remember?” Thor asked. Steve nodded, biting his lip, the back of his head brushing against Thor’s arm. Thor had accidentally put the hammer down on the strap of Sam’s laptop bag. Sam had lifted it easily and pulled his bag out from under it and then set it back down before straightening up to see all of the Avengers staring at him in shock. “How many times did Vision and Wanda make him pick up the hammer until they believed it?”

Sam threw the shield and Bucky swung the hammer effortlessly. With a clang the shield flew towards the walls, going wide after ricocheting against the walls and missing the can entirely.

“See,” Steve called out. “It’s not so easy.”

“We’ll get there!” Bucky called back. He switched the hammer to his left hand, metal glinting bright against the handle.

“And then Barnes too could lift it!” Thor continued softly, leaning a little into Steve. Steve turned and met his eyes, their faces close. “I thought perhaps my father’s magic was wearing thin. Vision is more than human, more than mortal; that makes sense does it not?” Steve nodded again and looked away pretending to be watching the others. That had made sense, but it had still left Steve feeling lost. He glanced over at the hammer in Bucky’s hand. “Then Wilson, then Barnes. At first I thought this was some cruel joke, but I realized if ever there were to be those worthy of Mjölnir they would be here; they would be your Avengers.”

“They’re not my Avengers, we’re a team.”

“You are their leader. Our leader.”

Steve hummed, but said nothing; Bucky was leaning into Sam’s ear, whispering something that had Sam laughing out loud before they went back to flinging the shield and hammer around the gym.

“But the magic is still good,” Steve said after a moment. “Not everyone can lift it.”

“True, Clint cannot lift it, nor Stark and Banner.”

“Or me.”

“This is what troubles you?” Steve did not reply, but crossed his arms in front of his chest. That was answer enough. “It should not. That is the very essence of Mjölnir. She is not meant to be carried by all.”

“Only those who are worthy.”

“And willing.”

Steve frowned. “I’m willing.”

“You have more important things to do than play with the hammer. Your shield is more than enough. Your shield is the heavier burden to bear.”

“Everyone can lift the shield, though.”

“But not everyone should. It is as I said. You are our leader. That is something wholly different.” He gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. “Worry not. Should you need her, Mjölnir will come. She has told me as much.”

“You talk to your hammer?” Steve asked with a small smile, happy to change the subject. “Your hammer talks to you?”

“It is not as strange as it sounds, I swear.”

Steve chuckled, “Yeah, sure.”

They met each other’s eyes and started laughing softly, leaning back against the wall and watching the others experiment with the hammer and shield. Thor’s arm was comfortable behind Steve’s head, and Steve felt like he was finally starting to relax. Their little Avengers family had fallen into a rhythm. Steve was happy.  

Bucky whispered something to Sam and both of them were laughing again, standing close in each other’s space, occasionally glancing in Steve and Thor’s direction.

“I’m glad they’re getting along,” Steve said after a moment. “I was worried, but they’re as thick as thieves.”

“I’m glad as well. They are fine men. And good companions. I’m trying to remember what Jane called it. A support system? They are good for you.”

“Yeah.”

“Yo Thor,” Clint said looking at his phone. “Nat’s heading out to get groceries. She said you wanted to come?”

“Aye, I do!” Thor stood and clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Keep your spirits up, Steven. Do you want anything from the store?”

“Ice cream.”

“What flavor?”

“Surprise me? I’m trying to try everything.”

Thor smiled, “Gladly.”

* * *

He and Clint headed out with a wave. Steve watched them go before turning to Sam and Bucky who were looking at him curiously. They set down the shield and hammer near the weapons rack and walked over to Steve on the bench.

“So, you’re hitting that, right?” Sam asked, after checking over his shoulder at Thor and Clint, but they were already gone.

Steve blinked. “Umm, we spar together sometimes.”

“No,” said Bucky. “That’s not what he means.”

“I mean you and Thor”

“What about me and Thor?”

Sam stared at him. “Are you for real right now?”

“Yes,” said Bucky grinning, ruffling Steve’s hair. “When you look in the dictionary under both obtuse and oblivious there’s a picture of him.”

“Shut up, Bucky,” Steve said automatically. “Obtuse about what?”

“About you and Thor.”

“What about me and Thor?” Steve repeated.

Sam and Bucky stared at him for a while. Steve stared back, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “We’ll keep it on the down low, if that’s what’s bothering you.”

“Yeah, Stevie. What else are friends for?”

“Guys, I’m really not sure what you’re getting at.”

“You know…”

“No, I don’t.”

“You and Thor.”

“Oh dear god, stop saying that as if it means something. What’s going on between me and Thor? Did I say something wrong or something?”

“You’re not gonna make us spell it out for you, are you?”

“Is this about the hammer? Is that’s what’s going on?”

“The hammer— what?”

Sam’s phone chirped in his hand, then Bucky’s and Steve’s chirped from their pockets, cutting off the conversation. They all fell quiet reading the memo from Natasha. _“Avengers Assemble.”_

“Okay,” Sam sighed. “I guess we’re suiting up. We’ll discuss this later, Steve.”

“I don’t even know what we’re discussing.”

* * *

Steve muted his comm device before flinging his shield at an oncoming robot. He and Thor were taking on the grunt work with the robot down on the ground while the others were flying, maintaining the perimeter or tracking the man who built the things in the first place. Compared to what the others were doing, this was pretty easy. He and Thor were chatting as they fought against the robots, and Steve did not want to bother the others while they did the actual work. The abandoned warehouse with the wild robots was empty, and all Thor and Steve had to do was keep them contained.

“I don’t know Thor, I think something’s up with Sam and Bucky. They were acting so weird when you left.”

Thor’s hammer connected with a robot with a crunch. “They seemed in fine spirits when Clint and I made our leave, though.”

“I know. It was weird. Like they were waiting for you to leave. They kept saying ‘You know, you and Thor.’ But I had no idea what they meant.”

“You and I? So their troubles lie in our friendship?”

“I guess. But I can’t imagine why.”

“Could it be my Asgardian background?” They stopped talking for a moment, Steve tossing the shield up to take out a line of robots all at once. “They are your close companions after all,” he continued, grunting as he threw a large robot onto the ground with a crash. “And for all intents and purposes, I am quite literally an alien. Perhaps it’s some strange form of protection?”

“That can’t be it, you’re one of the team. It’s never bothered them before I don’t think.”

“You cannot fault them for worrying about their friend, though even to me it does seem far-fetched. They are fine companions.”

“Robot on your right!” Steve watched Thor duck and flung the shield at the robot, hearing the hammer’s clang echo into the building before Steve caught it as it flew back in their direction. “I mean, that just can’t be it, Thor. They love you. We’re all getting along great.”

“I wonder,” Thor swung his hammer taking out two robots in one blow. “Perhaps they are seeing things in a different light because something has changed, because they are different now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they can both lift Mjölnir, and you cannot. I know this is something you worry about; perhaps it is the same with them as well? I wonder if they are waiting for you to attempt to lift her again yourself?”

“Do they think it’s coming between us maybe?” Steve speculated. He and Thor shrugged before going back into the robotic fray, metal crunching and wires sparking around them.

“I can assure you I hold no animosity on my end,” Thor replied.

“Me neither. It is what it is.”

“Precisely.”

“Maybe they’re weird because they can lift it.”

“They are quite possibly just ‘weird,’ Steven.”

Their ear-pieces both crackled, Bucky’s voice was on the other end. “Okay, first of all, that was rude, Thor. Second of all, muting the comms does not matter if you both don’t do it and you’re both standing next to each other.” Steve and Thor exchanged a wince. “Third, Stark says to look out for a robot with a red glowing light. Take him out and the others should all stop working.”

“Sorry Buck,” Steve said, after turning his comms back on.

They scanned the warehouse filled with the throng of thrashing, mindless robots before spotting the one with the red light, standing slightly apart from the other robots who were trying to reach Thor and Steve.

“Your two-o’clock.”

“Aye, I see the villain.”

“He looks a little cold,” Steve said.

Thor was already spinning Mjölnir with a grin, the clouds grew dark over the warehouse’s broken roof. “Perhaps should warm him up.”

“Ready?”

“Aye!”

Lightning crackled as Mjölnir came down onto the shield; the bolt of lightning shot right at the lead robot. As it hit the other robots around them short-circuited, collapsing into heaps of metal on the ground.

“See Steven,” said Thor catching his breath. “You may not be able to lift the hammer, but I could never do such a trick without your shield.”

“You got me there,” sighed Steve, wiping his brow. “That was fun.”

“Yes. And the company was most excellent.”

* * *

“Okay, Thor. How exactly was the hammer made?” Tony walked around one of the work tables in his lab examining Mjölnir from all sides. “Like, clearly there’s something going on in terms of high-intensity heat distribution, these seams are flawless, but I’m not quite sure—“

“Mjölnir was forged in the heart of a dying star.”

Thor, Steve, Bruce and Tony were all in the lab. Dum-E was moving large scraps of metal across the room and Jarvis was running several tests. The screens around them were flickering with light and activity. The lab was never quiet, but it was otherwise an entirely lazy day in the tower. Nat and Clint were off on a mission; Bucky and Sam were getting chores done and Tony asked to run some tests on the hammer. Steve had only tagged along because it was one of those rare moments when there was nothing else to do and Thor was glad of it. That Tony tended to throw him and Steve snack bars from his mini-fridge whenever they came into the lab was just a bonus.

Steve yawned and stretched and leaned back against a table next to Thor. They both watched Tony flit about the room playing around with various screens and tools. Their shoulders pressed against each other, warm and bracing and steady in the never ending motion of the lab. Thor smiled at him fondly and Steve grinned back.

“Dying stars do give off a lot of heat,” Bruce replied evenly from his computer on the other end of the lab. “I mean, that’s just common sense.”

Tony passed Bruce a blueberry. “You are correct. But who can actually go into a star and make a hammer? Whose first instinct upon going into a star is ‘I’m gonna make a hammer’?” Tony asked.

“The Dwarves,” Thor replied easily. It was perhaps a little flippant, but it was worth the look on both Steve and Tony’s faces.

Steve laughed. “Yeah, Tony. Who else?”

“For someone so wise, I expected better of you, Stark,” Thor quipped lightly, grinning at Steve once more, bumping lightly against him. He was happy to see Steve smiling; it looked right on his face.

“Okay, we all know I’m not wise, I’m just very smart. There’s a difference. Semantics.” Tony pulled up a tablet and started taking notes on the hammer, which sat innocently in the middle of the table. “Jarvis can you start scanning?”

“Of course, sir.”

Tony went silent as he started studying the hammer in earnest. Bruce turned around with a stretch and stood up to fill his mug of tea. He settled in next to Thor and Steve and they watched Tony work. It was almost meditative, watching him go at the hammer; taking notes, poking it both bare-handed and with the Iron Man gauntlet. 

“So how are things going between you two?” Bruce asked lightly, sipping his tea.

Steve and Thor blinked, glancing at each other before turning to Bruce.

“Fine,” Steve said after a moment. “Why do you ask?”

“Just checking in. Things are crazy enough being superheroes, it’d be a shame if you two weren’t working out because you didn’t have time to take care of yourselves. Things can be rocky in the beginning, you know?”

“Well, I believe we are doing well,” said Thor carefully. “I am fine, certainly. Are you?” he asked Steve.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah, but are you two together are… you know… _okay?_ ”

Steve and Thor shared a look, equally confused. “We’re fine,” Steve said at last.

“Perfectly well,” added Thor.

Bruce winced, “Sorry. Never mind. Glad to hear it.” He gave them a small wave and walked over to Tony and began to look at the other man’s notes, murmuring. Tony and Bruce spared an odd glance over at the two of them before turning quickly back to Tony’s tablet and the hammer. Thor and Steve looked at each other one more time, frowning. Thor quirked his eyebrow, Steve shrugged. 

“So, what exactly are you looking for, Tony?” Steve asked, turning to look back to Tony and Bruce.

“Just general information.”

“He wants to know why he can’t pick it up,” Bruce said. “It’s been killing him for months now, he just hasn’t had a chance to ask Thor to borrow the hammer.”

“It has not been killing me for months! This is scientific curiosity at it’s most base level. The exploration of new ideas and things. I’m perfectly neutral in all things hammer-lifty!” He rubbed his face. “But okay, it’s gotta just be coded in there, right? Like a computer, but different and with dwarves.”

“No, Tony, it is just magic.”

“I refuse to accept that.”

“You would,” Steve snorted.

“He’s more stubborn than you, Steven,” Thor hummed.

“I’m not stubborn.”

“Ha ha, lovebirds, _whatever_. And I’m not stubborn, I’m a scientist. The truth is out there!” Thor frowned at the phrase ‘lovebirds’ but did not say anything as Tony continued to poke the hammer and take notes. “Okay, Thor. Let me lay out my general theory. What if ‘worthiness’ is genetic?”

“No.”

“Let me get a sample of your blood! Maybe there’s something there!”

“It’s not genes or in your blood, it’s magic!”

“No, okay, hear me out! Think about it like this. Do you remember the night of the party?” _— “I try not to,”_ Bruce and Steve murmured together. Thor gave Steve another small, supportive bump on the shoulder. _—_  “Steve moved the hammer a tiny, little bit. Now he’s got the serum; it changed his body a lot, but really only changed his actual blood just a tiny, little bit.”

Thor frowned as Steve bit his lip, not responding. 

“That doesn’t work at all,” said Bruce.“It explains a little; if it’s genetics it explains why he was only able to almost move the hammer. He’s almost worthy, because his blood was really sort of only almost changed.”

“One cannot be almost worthy,” said Thor.

“Yeah,” Steve muttered. “You either are worthy, or you’re not. And I’m not.” Steve looked as shocked at the words coming out of his mouth as Thor was to hear them. A flush rose on the man’s face and he looked down at the ground, clenching his jaw. Steve sighed, and looked around the room, anywhere but at Thor and the others. “You know, I’ve got some paperwork I should probably get done. I’ll leave you guys to this. Sorry.”

He waved at them and walked towards the elevator. Thor heard Bruce scolding Tony as he followed after Steve. Just as the door was sliding closed, Thor slipped in, giving Steve a small smile. Steve relaxed a little bit, leaning back against the wall of the elevator.

“Are you alright?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, fine,” Steve replied. He shrugged when Thor gave him an unconvinced look. “Really, I’m alright.”

“Stark is an ass.”

Steve snorted, tension dissipating as Thor settled next to him against the elevator wall, hitting the button to the common area floor. He sighed. “I shouldn’t let it bother me. It doesn’t bother me. I just—“

“Worry not. I think the novelty of the hammer will pass soon enough,” said Thor. “I hope so at any rate. It is just a hammer. The others will grow bored of it soon enough.”

“That’d be nice.”

“You will too, I expect.”

Steve snorted. “That’d be nice too.”

Thor smiled at him once more, bumping his shoulder against Steve’s. They sighed and rose up towards in the elevator in comfortable silence.

* * *

Their lazy day was short-lived. A few hours later, some of the Avengers were called out to help with a mid-sized forest fire that had broken out in northern California. There was little that Bruce, Bucky and Sam could do, so it ended up being a small excursion with Steve, Thor, Tony and Colonel Rhodes heading west to help the firefighting crews down on the ground, dropped right in the thick of things making the fireline.

Steve and Thor were taking cut down trees towards the direction of a truck, and a little ways away, Tony and Colonel Rhodes were leveling trees with a lasers. Firefighters and construction crews were bulldozing away any debris and fuel the fire might have caught onto. It was hard work, and the smoke was thick in the air, stinging their eyes. Tony and Colonel Rhodes had the suits which filtered the smoke out of the air, and Thor and Steve’s enhanced lung capacity made the struggle to breathe not nearly so difficult. If nothing else, it was four people, providing four extra pairs of hands who did not have to use oxygen tanks that could be saved for the real fire fighters.

Thor and Steve grunted as they slid the heavy log on top of the others.

“I was meaning to ask, what exactly does the word ‘lovebird’ mean here?” Thor asked as they walked to pick up the next log.

“So you heard Tony say that too?”

“Indeed I did.”

“I’m guessing it’s just because we’ve been growing closer.”

“I would assume so. It means something a little different on Asgard.”

They hauled up the next log and started walking it over.

“What does it mean on Asgard?”

“A more romantic coupling, usually.”

“That’s what it means here too. I guess Tony was just being sarcastic.”

“He is prone to do that.” Thor rolled a log over towards Steve before they bent down to lift it. “Still, I wonder…”

“Wonder what?”

“The choice of words just struck me as quite odd. And then, of course, what Banner said.”

“Yeah, what was that about?”

“I could not say.”

“Me neither. They were weird, Sam and Bucky were weird. I’m worried we’ve done something wrong, but I can’t figure it out.”

“Neither can I.”

They paused for a moment waiting for the truck to leave and watching Colonel Rhodes and Tony down a few more trees. The smoke felt like it was getting thicker, and Steve and Thor turned to look in the direction of the fire; only half a mile away at most, they were cutting it very close.

“I thought Midgardians had special vehicles to pour water on fires. Jane mentioned such a thing once. Is there something different about this one that we need to cut down the forest to stop it?” Steve stared at him, brow furrowing. “Is it a cursed fire?”

“We’re saving the water planes for later on to keep it contained if we need it. California’s in a drought.”

“Do they mean to let the fire burn out on its own?”

“Yeah.”

“There is nothing special or more powerful about this fire?”

“No.”

“That could take days.”

“Yeah. We’re mostly just trying to protect the towns.”

“What if we just put out the fire?”

“Well, there might not be enough water.”

Thor gave him a look before turning to stare up at the sky, holding out his hand. Mjölnir flew through the air hitting his palm a minute later. His eyes went white. After a moment the clouds grew darker and the soft sound of rain hitting the forest floor surrounded them, plinging off the metal of the Iron Man and War Machine suits. It soon became white noise as drops of rain hit faster and faster. Off in the distance Steve swore he could almost hear the hiss of steam as rain hit the wildfire, slowing but steadily dousing it. 

“Apologies, friends. I misinterpreted our task here, else I would have brought the rain sooner,” he called out to the firemen who were standing around unsure how to proceed. They waved and shouted thank you’s over to Thor as the rain came down heavier and Tony and Colonel Rhodes flew off to bring the quinjet around.

After a moment Steve realized he was not getting wet. He stood next to Thor and looked around and realized there was a small circle around them where no rain was falling. Their eyes met and Thor grinned. But then, it turned into a smirk and the next second a downpour of water hit Steve and he yelped out, uniform suddenly wet and soaking before the rain left once more. Steve sputtered as Thor’s booming laugh filled the woods. Steve ran up and tackled him with a laugh, knocking him down. Momentarily distracted, Thor lost control of the rain, dropping the hammer and it poured down on them as they wrestled. In a moment they were both drenched, rolling around in the freshly made mud, laughing.

They rolled over and Steve was on top of Thor. He grinned down at him, smile bright as sunshine even with the mud smeared on his face. They laughed once more and Steve pressed his head into Thor’s chest with a groan.

“Hours of work and we could’ve just brought you and your rain in from the start.”

“It’s my fault. I assumed there was something dire about the fire; averse to water perhaps. I don’t know. It was lost in translation I suppose.”

“Don’t worry. At least we have a handle on it now.”

Their eyes met and they chuckled once more before Steve rolled off Thor onto his back onto the wet ground. The cool drops of rain hit his face and Thor was warm next to him. Steve closed his eyes and just enjoyed the moment; air growing fresher in his nose as the rain cleared the smoke.

“I’m glad you’re here, Thor,” Steve said after a moment. He was not even sure why, but the words felt right. “I’m glad you’re part of the team.”

“As am I. It is good work we do.”

Steve turned and looked at Thor, thinking about all the things that had brought them to this point. It had been hard, but Steve thought he would not trade it now. It was worth it. The Avengers Initiative was finally working, even with its rocky start. And Thor was here. Steve was happy.

Suddenly right above them the quinjet was hovering; the hum of the engine blowing the water in the air haphazardly around them. With a grunt, Thor heaved himself to his feet, and reached down to give Steve a hand. His palm was warm against Steve’s, and they stood up.

“Ready?” Steve asked.

“Aye!” Thor spun his hammer around, and in a moment Steve was pulled up and into the open hatch of the quinjet. They flew off back towards New York and watched as the fire slowly died out below them, Thor’s warm hand still on Steve’s waist.

* * *

Thor groaned as he lay on the stretcher while the doctor’s machine worked on the wound on his stomach in the quinjet. The fight had been long and ended badly, and while the new skin Dr. Cho’s machine was growing was good, it was not Asgardian skin; it was more a bandage than a cure.

“We’ll figure out the settings to make it work for you, Thor,” she said warmly. “It’ll just take a little tweaking.”

“This’ll do for now,” he replied. “I will heal on my own. At least now there is no scar.” He smiled at her as she took notes on her tablet. “You have my thanks.”

“Well, maybe don’t be jumping in front of guns at close range.”

Thor hummed, giving her a small nod before settling back down on the table. He closed his eyes for a few moments, trying not to focus on what had happened, but failing. Even now he cursed himself for being too slow; seeing Steve take on dozens of Hydra agents on his own; seeing blood at his neck as the knife came too close to his jugular. He did not think he could have stopped himself from dropping the hammer and sprinting in to save Steve, even if he had wanted to. He had stormed in, bellowing and and all but clawing at the agents while Steve— Thor sighed, forcing his fists to unfurl from their tight clench, and staring up at the ceiling as if he could erase the sight of Steve, pale and bleeding, kneeling on the ground still trying to fight off his attackers, screaming at them all the while. _The damn fool._  

He did what he had to do to save Steve, and he was glad he did it. But there was a low thrum of anger in his stomach. He could not stop his heart from pounding still. After the fight had finished, Tony and Nat shuffled Steve off to one of the closer doctors on the ground, and Thor made it to the quinjet with Clint and let Dr. Cho treat his stomach wound. He worried about Steve. There had been so much blood. He calmed his breathing, forcing himself to relax once again. The image of Steve being hurt was burning in his mind. It was maddening.

He was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of boots stomping on the metal ramp of the quinjet. It was Steve, looking furious with a bandage on his neck, trailed by Natasha. 

“What the hell was that?” Steve yelled storming towards Thor. Thor stood up as Steve glared at him, shoving him in the chest when he was close enough. “What the hell do you think you were doing?!”

“You ask what I was doing?”

“Yeah! I’m asking what you were doing. I had it under control.”

“Under control? You ought to have called for backup and you know it.”

“I didn’t need it! You were supposed to be breaking open the vault!”

“I would not leave you there to die! Not by their hand!”

“I wasn’t going to die!”

“They were going to shoot you! They had you on your knees staring up at the barrel of their weapons! I did what I had to and I would do it again!”

“You jumped in front of a damn gun! What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I was trying to save you!”

“Well you shouldn’t have!”

“Hel’s teeth, of course I should have!”

“Not from where I’m standing, you jeopardized the whole mission!”

“You jeopardized your life!”

“That doesn’t matter!”

Thor slammed his fist against the wall of the quinjet, leaving a large dent in the metal. “Damn you, Steven Rogers, what are you thinking!?”

“You could have died!”

“You could have died!”

“Oh are mom and dad fighting?” Tony asked walking in and raising the visor on his suit. “They’re like an old married couple, I swear.”

“Shut up, Stark.” Steve and Thor said together.

Steve glared at Thor and Thor glared right back, heart pounding, breath coming hot and fast in his chest. All he could see was red, and the bandage at Steve’s neck. All he could hear was Steve back where Thor had found him surrounded by Hydra agents. _“Leave him out of this!”_ Steve had yelled from the floor when Thor had arrived. It had all happened so quickly; Steve bleeding badly, Thor desperate to save him, Steve scrambling to fight as well, blood running down his uniform, Thor feeling a sharp _thud_ in his abdomen, only hearing the shot after the fact, only barely just seeing Stark and Natasha rushing in and taking out the rest of the agents.

Steve bleeding. Steve dying.

“Okay, both of you need to cool it. I don’t like taking on leader-role, but I will if I have to.” Tony’s grin was gone, he glanced back and forth between the two men. “Steve, you and Nat go into jet number two, Thor, Clint and I will stay here and cool off.”

“Fine,” Steve snapped, walking off as quickly as he came in. Natasha could barely keep up.

Thor huffed out a sigh throwing himself into one of the nearby seats. His stomach was still tender from the gunshot wound, and his mind was racing. Clint and Tony sat silently in the front of the jet and took off back to the tower. The jet rose into the air and started back for their home, rumbling underneath his feet. Thor fumed in his seat, reaching over to grab Mjö—

“Damn,” he murmured, standing up. “Stark, open the hatch please.”

“Why? You not done laying into Cap?” Clint asked.

“Please, just—” he cut himself off with a sigh.

Tony pressed a few buttons, and Thor stood over the open back door of the quinjet holding his hand out. A moment passed, and then two, and then three and finally Mjölnir flew up from the Hdyra base and into his hand. Thor stared at it for a moment quietly. He had forgotten it. The impossibility of it was a jolt to his system far harsher than any lightning he could wield. He had dropped it to—

_To save Steve._

He shook his head before stepping back into the jet and sitting back down, holding the hammer in his hands, gripping tight to keep them from shaking.

* * *

“You shouldn’t’ve yelled at him like that,” a voice called out behind Steve that night.

“Nat,” Steve greeted, nodding at Natasha absentmindedly as she walked up to where he stood on the balcony of his apartment. The night air was cold on his skin and this high up in the tower the icy breeze was sharp and cutting. There was a haze of clouds over them so there were no stars out that night. He wondered if the clouds were Thor’s doing, and got angry all over again thinking of the Asgardian. And it was cold. He should have put on a jacket, but he wanted to brood, and was too stubborn to go back and get one. Natasha quirked an eyebrow at him. “And why shouldn’t’ve I yelled at him like that? Did you see what he did?”

“He saved your life, Steve.”

“At the risk of his own? That’s not—”

“Oh, like you haven’t done life-risking crap before. For everyone else, I might add.”

“That’s different—“

She stared at him, exasperated. Steve sighed, wiping his own face with his hand. For some inexplicable reason he still felt shaky, like his legs were ready to give out on him at any moment. The battle was over, and yet it felt like he was still in the middle of it; his mind was racing, his heart thudding angrily in his chest. When he closed his eyes he still saw Thor, lying on the ground, blood darker than his cape oozing from his stomach. It made him want to scream. It was his fault.

“How’s your neck?” asked Natasha, shaking him from his thoughts.

“It’s fine. It’ll probably be all healed by the morning.”

“Dr. Cho should look at it. You lost a lot of blood.”

“I got a lot to lose, I’m filled with the stuff.”

She sighed, reaching up to the bandage at Steve’s neck. He titled his head back, letting out a small hiss as she peeled the corner away to look, staring at the overcast sky as she clicked her tongue disapprovingly at him.

“Imagine what would’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten there in time.”

“I was doing fine.”

“No you weren’t.”

“He didn’t have to take a bullet for me. He shouldn’t’ve—“ Steve stopped himself, biting back his words. Even just thinking about it now, he still felt angry about it. His stomach was in knots, his fists clenched; he felt like he was stopping himself even now from reaching for his shield. If Steve had been faster, if he had been smarter, he could’ve, _he should’ve—_

“Steve? You okay?”

“I just wish he hadn’t done that.”

“I think he wishes you hadn’t taken on fourteen heavily armed Hydra goons by yourself with no backup, and on an injured leg. Yeah, I noticed you limping, even if the others didn’t.” Steve snorted, rolling his eyes. “Go talk to him. You’re not gonna get a chance until after you back from Maine if you don’t. That op could take weeks.”

_Weeks._ God, why did that thought leave him feeling even worse? He bit his lip and stood up, nodding at Natasha. She was right. “Yeah, okay.”

They stood quietly for a moment, looking out over the city from the balcony. “Steve, look at me a sec?” Steve turned and faced her. She blinked up at him, studying his face; he felt naked even as he tried to school his features, look neutral. “God, you’re really freaked out.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not. You’ve lost soldiers before, this isn’t any—“

“He’s not a soldier,” Steve said, turning away. “It’s Thor. You’d be upset too, right?”

“But he’s fine now.”

“But he—“ Steve bit his lip. The only thing worse than seeing Thor injured there on the floor in front of him, surrounded by Hydra agents was imagining him dying from it. It was sharp and heavy in his chest; he felt like he could not breathe. It was worse than the asthma he had before the serum, it was worse than drowning. He shook his head. “I just wish he hadn’t done that,” he repeated softly. “I keep seeing—“

He twitched when Natasha ran a cool hand down his arm. “It’s okay.”

“We almost lost him. I almost—“

“Steve—“

“Not for me. I don’t think he should have done that for me.”

“Of course he should’ve. Get your head out of your ass.”

“He could have died. I’m not worth that. He almost—“

“You know he’s feeling the same way about you, right? He’s freaked because you almost died.”

“He didn’t sound like it,” Steve said, wincing, remembering the way that he and Thor had screamed at each other hours before.

“Neither did you.” She sighed. “You’re not angry. That’s not what you’re feeling. You were scared, you still are. It makes us scream, makes us freak out. Clint and I have done the same thing over and over again, and it never gets easier. But you can fix this. Just go talk to him. Apologize. Give yourself a chance to see with your own eyes that he’s still alive, still breathing.” She gave him a playful shove. “And go inside and put on a sweatshirt. You’re gonna catch a cold.”

He tried to smile and they turned and headed back into the apartment after her, sparing one last look out towards the cloudy skies.

* * *

Thor sat on the roof gazing out into the evening dark, watching the clouds gather overhead. Those were his fault, but he could not stop the swirling grey and black gathering over the city, reflecting his mood. He tried to clear his mind, tried to make the night not so terrible for the people of the city but couldn’t manage it. He glared up at the sky when a voice behind him shook him from his thoughts.

“Thor?” Steve called out. “Jarvis said you were up here.”

Thor considered not answering for a moment, staying quiet in the dark corner where Steve could not see him, but finally he said. “Aye, I’m here.”

He stood up, brushing off some of the dirt from the roof and stepped over to the door to the stairs where Steve stood, haloed by the light behind him. He was fine, he looked fine, save for the bandage on his neck. Thor closed his eyes against the sight of it for a moment, pushing out the memories of the fight with the Hydra agents from his mind. For a moment neither of them said anything, merely facing each other, quiet and a little chagrinned.

“Is your stomach okay?” Steve finally asked. His voice was uncharacteristically soft, and Thor’s heart almost ached at the sound of it.

“It’ll heal soon enough. It is merely sore now.” Steve glanced at his abdomen before looking away. Thor watched him for a moment, and sure enough, Steve looked at Thor’s stomach once more, staring at where he had been shot. Thor fiddled with the hem of his shirt for a moment meeting Steve’s eye obliquely before Steve bit his lip and nodded and Thor lifted the tshirt up. Steve’s eyes were unwavering as he looked at the clean plane of Thor’s stomach. There was no scar. Steve raised his hand slowly and brushed over where Dr. Cho had grown the new skin. His fingers were cold and all Thor wanted was to take them in his hands and warm them, but he held still.

Steve’s brow furrowed as he touched Thor’s stomach, “The skin feels different.”

“It is different. It’s new.”

“I wish you hadn’t—“ Steve cut himself off, looking away, pulling his hand back from Thor’s skin. Thor took his hand for a moment before reaching up and ghosting over the bandage on Steve’s neck. Steve shivered. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” Thor murmured. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

They fell quiet; a sharp wind cut through their clothes, and they both stepped minutely closer to each other without thinking. Steve seemed to slump, as if strings inside of him were finally cut loose. Thor’s hand cupped around his neck, careful of the bandage. Steve felt cold, and Thor hated it. He knew Steve did not like the cold. They met each other’s gaze once more.

“I did not think,” Thor finally said. “When I saw you there. I _could_ not think.”

“I know. I know what you mean.” Steve closed his eyes. “I can’t stop seeing you after he shot you. I’ve been around guns for years, and that shot was the loudest one I ever heard.”

Thor frowned. “I am alright, I swear. It is not even the worse hurt I’ve endured.”

“You can’t do that again.”

“Save you?”

“Almost die.”

Thor shook his head. “Steve, you cannot ask that of me. It is like I said, I could not think. I would do the same in a heartbeat.”

“Please. I don’t think I can see you like that again. Especially not for me.” Thor had never seen Steve look so… _anguished._ It was unsettling. There had been other incidents in battles with the Avengers, friends and shield-mates almost lost, but Thor could not remember Steve reacting this way over them. He was upset then surely, but this was something else entirely. Thor could not wrap his head around it.

He sighed, “Then neither can you.”

“What?”

“If I’m not allowed to almost die, then neither can you,” he said softly. “You are our leader, you are— just as you say you cannot see me that way again, neither can I see you thus.”

“I can’t just stop fighting. This is what we signed up for.”

“But you would have me stop fighting?”

“No! I just—“ he leaned closer into Thor, staring at his stomach where Thor had been shot. “I don’t think I could live with myself if you died; if you died for me. I’m not… it’s not worth it.”

“Let me decide what and who is worth my life, Steve. And I have decided where you stand in this. I would do what I did a thousand times over.”

Steve grew quiet, his body very still. “Please, Thor.”

“If you are more careful, than I will be more careful. Can we agree on that?”

Steve nodded with a sigh. The light from the stairwell behind them glowed warm and soft. With Steve’s neck under his palm, Thor felt as though he was finally coming down from the ill mood he had been in for the last few hours. The skies above slowly grew clearer, though Thor could do nothing for the cold. Steve was here, Steve was alright. Thor thought perhaps he might not let go, in case it was not real. He finally started to feel the weight of the day on his shoulders, realizing he was exhausted.

Steve had closed his eyes, leaning into Thor’s hand on his neck. He looked just as tired as Thor felt. Thor glanced down at his lips. They looked soft in the warm light of the stairwell, parted slightly as Steve relaxed into Thor’s hand. Thor almost reached up with his thumb to brush against Steve’s lips before stopping himself, blinking away the flash of confusion at the urge. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Steve’s, hating how cool Steve’s skin felt against his own; Steve should be warm.

“I think things will be settling down a little,” Steve said after a moment, barely a whisper, words ghosting over Thor’s skin. “After Sam and Bucky and I get back from Maine things should be quiet.”

“That would be agreeable.”

“Yeah.”

“Will you be alright on your mission?”

Steve nodded against his face. “Yeah. It’ll be fine.”

Thor opened his eyes and glanced down at Steve’s face once more. He was about to speak when a chirp from his pocket interrupted them. Steve opened his own eyes and glanced up at Thor before taking a step back. The moment was over. Thor felt sorry at the loss.

He pulled out his phone and read the text message. Thor, Tony, Bruce and Wanda were going to go to Japan to help study a strange occurrence happening off the coast of the country. Steve peaked over his hand and read it too. “Well, so much for things being quiet.”

“Indeed.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Japan.”

“I’ll take pictures.”

Steve huffed out a small breath of laughter. Thor was glad he was smiling once more and clapped him on the shoulder. “Come, it is too cold to stay out here. I believe Lady Pepper brought some ice cream from her trip to Italy.”

“That won’t really help with the cold.”

“We will turn the heat up then.”

They stepped into the building and left the cold night air together.

* * *

**Steve:** I’m glad we talked before we left.

**Thor:** yes. it would not do to have an ill mood between us all these weeks.

**Steve:** no kidding.

**Thor:** and you are faring alright?

**Steve:** Okay. Just reached the safehouse and have to go buy more jackets/supplies.

**Thor:** stay warm.

**Steve:** Thats the idea.

Steve looked at his phone for a moment, hesitating before finally typing in the next message.

**Steve:** Is it okay if I call you? Not now, but just when things get quiet?

**Thor:** of course. 

**Steve:** Good. :)

**Thor:** :)

 

•••

 

“How’s Japan?” Steve asked into the phone.

“Peaceful for now. The beast sleeps still; we feared it would rouse in the early morning. The people here have consulted with the fairies and say he sleeps only a little while longer, and will attack once more.”

“You sure you don’t need any backup?”

“Nay. We believe when we communicate with it, the creature will cease its destruction. It is confused and threatened, not hostile. Banner and Stark have some ideas.”

“That’s good.”

“And how are you faring? How is Skow-he-gan?” Steve could almost imagine Thor frowning around the word. It made him smile.

“Skowhegan’s alright. Weird place for a Hydra op, but that’s how it goes. And it’s–“ Steve could not finish his thought. He pulled his coat in tighter around him and looked out the window. It was still early evening, but it was winter, and it was dark outside. Snow fell silently outside; better than the storm they had the night before but it was–

“Steven?”

“It’s cold here,” Steve finally said. “And getting colder. What’s worse, the safe-house doesn’t keep the cold out that well either. I just want this mission to be over with. Get back to the tower, turn the heat up to 90°, pretend I’m on a beach.”

“I imagine you are even less fond of the cold than others.”

“How do you mean?”

“Your file said– your time in the depths. You were frozen, were you not?”

Steve stared out the window. The snow looked even more ominous with that memory in mind. He could almost feel the ice water in his lungs. “Yeah,” he made himself say after a long while. “Yeah I was.”

“Forgive me. I did not mean to presume–“

“No, no it’s fine. I just never thought about it that way. I just kinda– I usually don’t think about it.”

“I’m sorry, I should not have said—“

“No, it’s fine. Really. You can say anything. I like tal—“ he stopped himself once more, biting his lip. “Sorry, I—“

“I like speaking with you as well,” Thor said.

“Yeah?”

Thor hummed through the receiver. Something in Steve’s chest unclenched; he had not even realized it had grown tight at all. He smiled down at the floor. The cold was not bothering him that much any more, now that he thought about it.

“How much more do you have to do?” Thor asked after a moment, shaking Steve from his thoughts. “Is your mission progressing as it should?”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re hitting the target tomorrow, and should be back in New York tomorrow night or the next morning.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“It’ll be good to get back home.”

Thor hummed once more. “Indeed it will.”

They fell quiet for a moment. Steve thought it might have been an awkward silence, but with Thor it seemed alright. He wanted to say the right thing, but did not know what it was, but he knew that Thor did not mind it. He glanced over to where Sam and Bucky sat on the couch reading files together. Their legs were crossed over each other on the ottoman, a tangle of socked feet. It clicked in his head in an instant. They were together. How had he not realized it before? He watched Bucky gave Sam a soft smile before turning back to his file, and Steve turned back towards the window, feeling a little bit warmer. He heard Thor puttering around on the other end, heard the sounds of his steady breath, murmurs from the others with him in Japan. Steve smiled, it was almost like being there. Almost.

“Steve, I am sorry. I do have to go in a minute,” Thor said, sounding almost regretful to break the comfortable silence. “Back into the fray.”

“You’ll be careful?”

“Of course.”

“Right, umm.” Steve did not know what to say still. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

 

•••

 

**Thor:** look at this admirable cat. [1 attached image]

**Steve:** It’s wearing a sweater! Where is that?

**Thor:** at a small eatery. it lives here as the shop mascot. japan is wonderful when there are not monsters rising from the oceans.

**Steve:** Wish I was there.

**Thor:** i as well. i have stocked up on interesting ice cream flavors for you to try.

**Steve:** Can’t wait. Looks like we’ll be getting back around the same time.

**Thor:** excellent!

 

•••

 

 from: spangles@avengers.org

to: hammertime@avengers.org

subject: Mission running long.

Hey, just letting you know things are taking a little longer than anticipated here in Skowhegan. (wish I was in Japan). Be back at tower the day after you get back. Save me some of the ice cream.

-Steve.

 

from: hammertime@avengers.org

to: spangles@avengers.org

re: Mission running long.

good luck. for your information, the ice cream here comes in balls. excellent invention! stark has purchased us 12 unique flavors and more than three hundred of these ‘mochi’ balls. we fly home in a few hours. there _may_ be some left when you return. ;)

-T

 

•••

 

 Thor’s phone began to ring as he stood in the lab, nursing an icepack on his bruised face listening to Tony, Wanda and Bruce discuss what to do next. They were slowly figuring out how to defeat the beast that had attacked Japan again, but had yet to make any real progress. Thor winced as he reached into his pocket to answer it, waving for a moment at the others before stepping aside to take the call. It was Steve.

“Hey, we were watching the news, are you guys alright?”

“Well enough.”

“Are you sure?” In the background Thor heard Bucky say something along the lines of, _“Yeah, because it kinda looked like you decided to get into a fight with an entire building using just your face.”_ Thor winced once more at the memory. It was possibly not the best bout he had fought in.

“I’m sore. But nothing bruised so badly as my ego.”

“You’re sure?” Steve asked again, his voice a little low.

“I promise. I am alright.”

He heard Steve let out a breath on the other end. “Okay,” he said, barely above a whisper. “Right, okay.”

“And how are things going there?”

“Okay. Well, no, Sam got shot.” 

“What?”

A muffled _“I’m fine, what the hell, Steve!”_ sounded from beyond the receiver.

“No, it was just a graze, but Bucky’s all freaked out. We’re taking a few days to regroup.”

“That sounds wise.” They both fell quiet, and Thor listened to to Steve breathe for a few moments on the other end of the line. He wanted to say something, anything, but could not find the words. He thought perhaps Steve did not mind the quiet, and neither did he, but he felt like there was something on the tip of his tongue, and if he could only unlock it, all would be right.

“Thor, gotta roll out buddy,” Tony called out from the other side of the room. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll see him soon.”

Thor blinked at him. “Right, of course,” he replied a little dazed. _Boyfriend?_ “Stark says we are heading out, Steve.”

“Alright. Be safe, okay?”

“Of course. I will—“ he stopped, blinking again at Stark’s words, particularly one word: _Boyfriend?_ “I will see you soon, I hope.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Farewell.”

“Bye.”

 

•••

 

  **Tony:** Oh my god! Oh my god! WTF! Oh my ggggoddddd!

**Tony:** This is painful. I’m dying. Are the rest of you dying? I’m dying. I can’t keep watching this.

**Sam:** Yes.

**Bucky:** YES.

**Vision:** Leave them alone. They will figure it out eventually.

**Bruce:** V, for all your years working with Tony, when has he ever left something alone?

**Vision:** They are not unintelligent people. They will come to an understanding.

**Sam:** I am definitely not so sure of that.

**Bucky:** I just want to duct-tape their faces together. Even then they probably wouldn’t kiss.

**Wanda:** They will get there, trust me… I’ve seen what they’re thinking.

**Wanda:** It is disgustingly cute. They have no idea.

**Natasha:** Just lock them in a closet when they get back to the tower. The one in the showers by the gym would be perfect. None of those pesky clothes! :P

**Tony:** Good plan.

**Tony:** Wait.

**Tony:** How are you even on this chat? I thought you were black-ops in Siberia!

**Tony:** This is an encrypted, invite-only chat!

**Natasha:** :P

**Natasha:** Clint says hi.

**Bucky:** Hi Clint!

**Tony:** Whatever. You’re so creepy Nat.

**Natasha:** You love me.

**Sam:** <3

**Tony:** Whatever, whatever. We’ve got to go save the world.

 

•••

 

 Thor was sleeping in the quinjet when Tony’s voice sounded in his ear, “Wake up, big guy.” Thor stared groggily up at him. “You up to spend a few days in Hawaii?”

“I would prefer going back to New York.”

“I don’t know,” said Wanda said from a seat near the front of the jet near Vision, playing on her phone. “I bet you tan better than I do.”

“Let me rephrase: you up to spending a few days in Hawaii helping out with flood cleanup and rescue?”

Thor sighed. “Then of course. Will any of the others be there?”

“No, just us. We’re flying that direction anyway.”

“That is why we’re here, is it not?”

“Just making sure you did not have any pressing plans.”

“Will the ice cream keep?”

“Oh yeah, state of the art freezers.”

“Very well, I am at your disposal.”

He pulled out his phone as Tony walked back, and began composing a text to send to Steve. He worried for a moment about choosing the right words. He knew Steve would not care, but he bit his lip all the same, unsure how to proceed, sad to be delivering the news.

 

**Thor:** delayed a few days. my apologies. i had hoped to have the ice cream by your return.

**Steve:** It’s fine. We’ll eat it when you get back.

**Steve:** Unless it melts. Does the quinjet even have freezers?

**Thor:** it does. and tony believes they will keep the ice cream fresh for our time in hawaii.

**Steve:** Bet it’ll be warmer than here.

**Thor:** i imagine so.

It was a few long moments before another text arrived. Thor had been about to put his phone back in his pocket when it chirped once more. 

**Steve:** Take it easy.

Thor wanted to say more, watching his phone as if waiting for it to tell him the right way to respond, but finally left off with a short;

**Thor:** farewell for now.

 

He stared at his phone for a moment longer, reading back on the old text-messages with Steve, feeling warm. It was almost easy, this. He liked talking to Steve, and Steve said as much to him. He wondered when he grew so hesitant with his words; he wondered if Steve was feeling the same way. He took forever just to say ‘take it easy.’

He sighed and pocketed his phone, leaning back in the chair. Ready to try and catch a few more moments of sleep, he felt two pairs of eyes on him. He looked around the jet before seeing Wanda and Vision watching him, smiling. He gave them a small confused smile back. They grinned and turned away, sharing a whisper. Thor could only shake his head and go back to sleep.

 

•••

 

Steve put his bags in the trunk of a car with a sigh, rubbing his hands and zipping up his coat before heading back in to safehouse. Sam was at the computer typing out the report to send back to the Avengers. Steve paused and read over his shoulder.

 

from: flyboy@avengers.org

to: group.avengers!all@avengers.org

subject: Op extended.

Hydra rabbited. Cap, Barnes and I in pursuit, northern New York State area. Estimated time of completion 3-7 days.

-Wilson

 

“I hate the stupid email names Tony gave us.”

“I don’t know man, there are worse things than ‘flyboy’ for a dude with wings and ‘lukeskywalker’ for a guy with a metal arm.”

“Well,” said Bucky. “Sam’s just happy Barton got ‘birdboy@avengers’ before he did.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Mine is ‘spangles,’” Steve said. “And there’s no way to change it, I’ve tried. I even asked Pepper.” Bucky and Sam chuckled at him, before continuing to pack up. Sam was about to close the laptop and pack it in his bag when Steve stopped him. “Can I use that for just a minute? Want to send an email.”

“Sure thing, Spangles.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You know what, Wilson…”

Sam laughed and clapped him on the shoulder as he walked by to start packing the food in the kitchen. Steve settled in at the small desk and logged into his email, rolling his eyes at ‘spangles’ once more before he started typing.

 

from: spangles@avengers.org

to: hammertime@avengers.org

subject: Save me ice cream!

Hey, don’t know if you saw, but we’re going to be on this op a little longer. Sorry. Hope the ice cream is still there when (if, ugh) I get back.

 

He paused for a moment, looking at the email almost ready to send it. He bit his lip, hesitating over the keyboard. He finally added;

 

I miss you.

-Steve.

 

He hit send before he could delete it, and quickly shut the laptop. A thrill of _something_ ran through him as he thought for a moment about the email. He bit his lip once more, finally packing the laptop away in its bag to the sound of Sam saying, _“Come on, Steve. Time to roll out.”_

His phone pinged an hour or so later as they drove;

 

**Thor:** I miss you too.

 

Steve was glad he was sitting in the backseat, where the others would not see him smiling down at his phone.

 

•••

 

Thor was back in the tower when Jane texted him; there was a space anomaly in Trømso and they needed his help.

Steve, Bucky and Sam came, exhausted, dirty, run down, back to an empty tower. Steve was showering when Sam knocked on his door; there was Hydra activity in Florida, and they needed to head out and meet Vision there ASAP.

Thor was picked up by Natasha and Clint and they were traipsing through Russia together following a lead.

Steve was nabbed by Pepper for a week long PR run with Tony, sure he was going to go blind from the amount of camera flash he had to endure.

Thor, Colonel Rhodes and Bruce as the Hulk were in India, helping with the heavy lifting after a landslide.

Steve, Natasha and Bucky were called in for a Congressional hearing regarding the events of the previous April with Hydra at the Triskilion.

Thor was required in Nornheim for a council regarding the events of the Convergence and the Dark Elves.

They did not see each other for three months.

* * *

The hoard of aliens crashed through the portal above the Golden Gate Bridge. It was just like the chitauri all over again, maybe worse. The streets of San Francisco were littered with debris, and citizens were trapped in the high buildings of downtown. All of the Avengers were there, fighting the aliens and they flew through the city, except for Thor, still off planet. Steve narrowly dodged a laser, diving behind a car next to Bucky in the financial district.

Thunder crashed in the distance, but neither of them heard it as another car exploded nearby.

“This is just like Sicily ,” Bucky said.

“You and I remember Sicily very differently.”

Bucky cocked his gun with a laugh and Steve tightened his grip on the shield.

“Guys, you got a big thing coming up California Street right your way,” Natasha yelled into the comms. “And there’s a bunch of civilians trapped in the restaurant behind you!”

“A big thing?” Steve asked, looking over his shoulder and saw that, indeed, there were more than a dozen people peering out the window, crouching down under the broken “Taddich Grill” sign, rubble ruining their nice suits and business clothes. “What kind of big thing?”

“Umm. A big thing,” she replied unhelpfully. “Looks a little bit like a jellyfish, but with lasers… and teeth.”

Steve and Bucky turned and saw it. It did look a bit like a jellyfish with lasers and teeth, Natasha wasn’t wrong. It was a very evil, very, _very_ large, metal, alien jellyfish. It was floating slowly up the street towards Bucky and Steve, long metal tendrils flinging cars away when they touched it, shooting random lasers into the buildings, destroying all in its path.

“Nat, do we know how to kill it?” Steve asked.

“We’re working on it. We just need to keep it from getting further into the city.”

“So… umm… distract it?” Steve asked, stomach flipping in his core.

“Just for a little while.”

Steve sighed, meeting Bucky’s eyes. Bucky scowled and pulled out another gun. “Okie dokie,” Steve said with a grimace. “We’re on it.”

“‘Okie dokie’? Really?”

“Shut up, Buck.”

Bucky smirked and together they jumped out from behind the car and started running towards the jellyfish, shooting at it from the street, screaming obscenities, jumping on cars, flinging the shield, tossing grenades. The creature noticed them and started making its way towards them as they stood in the middle of the intersection. 

One of the creature’s large tendrils wiped out and smacked Bucky in the chest, flinging him across the street into a building. Steve stared horrified until Bucky shifted up, and his groan sounded through the comms, “I’m alright.”

Steve turned back to the creature and saw it was right in front of him. For a brief second, panic struck him as it grew closer, its body pulling back and tensing, getting ready to strike. This was going to hurt. He held tight onto the shield, preparing for the blow.

Suddenly, lightning struck. Steve held out his hand against the bright glare and something hit him in the palm; he grabbed on without thinking. Another flash of lighting, and Steve looked and saw he as holding Mjölnir in his hand. The creature was bearing down on him, metal teeth gnashing, lasers pointing right at him. Steve swung the hammer.

With a great clang he knocked the jellyfish out in a single blow. It crumpled to the ground in front of him and he stood panting staring at it for a moment in shock before looking at the hammer in his hand. It was warm, sending happy jolts of electricity down his arm; it felt right in his hand.

“Steve?” Steve turned around and saw Thor stepping up, covered in ash and soot from the fight, watching him carefully. “Are you alright?”

Steve dropped the hammer, walked the few steps to Thor, and kissed him.

Thor kissed him back.

* * *

_A few months later…_

 

“What does it feel like?”

Thor was sprawled out naked on his stomach on the sheets, hair still wet from his shower, as Steve padded back from the bathroom, stretching.

“What does what feel like?” Steve asked. He settled back down next to Thor and stretched out close besides him. Steve could feel the warmth radiating off of his body and just wanted to curl into Thor and absorb it all like a cat.

“As a prince of Asgard it was frowned upon to—“ Thor’s brow furrowed and he chose his words gingerly. “To be taken by another man. I could do the taking, but ancient customs—“ he sighed, words petering out. He looked down at the sheets, not meeting Steve’s eye. There was a faint pink tinge under his beard. “It matters not; forget I asked.”

“You’ve never—“ it was Steve’s turn to choose his words carefully. “Been on the receiving end?”

Thor turned just a little bit redder, groaning and pressing his face into the pillow beneath him.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Steve smiled and slid closer to Thor, legs tangling a little, reaching up to push some hair out of the other man’s face. He could not help himself as he began to pepper small kisses down Thor’s temple, before turning his head meeting his lips.

“It feels good,” he whispered to Thor between kisses, between breaths. “God, it feels really good.”

His hand cupped Thor’s neck, thumb running along his jaw, holding him firm. Thor was leaning up on his elbows to try and take control of the kiss as he usually did, but this time Steve would not let him. After a moment, something shuddered in Thor and Steve pulled back. Thor’s pupils were blown wide, and he licked his lips, tasting what was left of Steve on them. He met Steve’s eyes, lips parting, muscles going lax in Steve’s hand. There was something so uncharacteristically soft in the way Thor held himself now; Steve wanted to draw it, but knew that it would be impossible to catch on paper. 

He curled around pressing up against Thor’s side, hands sliding down Thor’s back, and whispered in his ear, “You want to know what it feels like?”

Thor’s eyes fluttered shut and a small moan sounded in his throat. He nodded into the sheets. Steve grinned against Thor’s face, hearing the almost imperceptible gasp Thor let out when Steve’s hand ghosted over Thor’s ass, teasing the place where his two cheeks met, not nearly close enough to where those fingers were supposed to be. He pulled his hand back, resting on Thor’s lower back instead, pressing another kiss into Thor’s temple.

“It feels like lightning,” he whispered. “When you’re in me it feels like lightning shooting through me.” Thor trembled just barely underneath him and Steve could not help but smile. He started to kiss a line down Thor’s neck and back; hands moving up and down, wrapping around his throat, feeling his quickening pulse under his skin. “God, if I could make you feel half as good as you’ve made me feel then we’ll call it a win.” Even as he said the words a pang of worry shot through him. Could he make Thor feel good? He hoped so. If anyone deserved it, it was Thor.

He shifted over and straddled the back of Thor’s thighs; stretching up to run his hands all along Thor’s back from his shoulders to his hips. The densely packed muscles felt just as wonderful here under his hands as they did when Thor was above him, pressing into him, their bodies becoming connected. He hoped he could do this justice.

 

 

Thor felt Steve’s breath at the base of his back, before he felt him pull apart his cheeks and ghost air at his hole. He gasped and twitched, clutching the sheets beneath him. His hips canted up with only the barest of prompts from Steve’s hands. He buried his face into the sheets, and tried to hold in a noise he was not even sure he had ever made before.

Steve’s hand ran comforting circles on his back. “Let it out, I want to hear you.”

Thor gasped at the words and the sound turned into a loud moan as Steve’s tongue ran up past his hole.

“What are you doing?” he gasped out. He had never done such things to Steve, and despite his many years of experience did not realize one could. A sudden need to apologize to all of his former bedmates flashed in the back of his mind, but the thought was quickly set aside because Steve was putting his tongue _there._ Blood rushed to his cock as Steve continued to lick around his hole, hand moving down to cup his balls. It was such a strange new sensation, but Thor wanted more of it. Thor jerked as Steve’s tongue pressed just barely into the tight ring of muscle; he could feel Steve smile against him.

“Does it feel okay?” Steve asked into his skin.

He licked another stripe up from the sensitive spot behind his balls to the base of his back and it was all Thor could do not to fall apart right there on the bed. “Hnngg,” tumbled out of his lips and he felt Steve smile once more.

“I hope that’s a yes.”

He teased at Thor’s hole before slowly kissing back up Thor’s body, pressing his chest into Thor’s back. Thor could vaguely hear him puttering in the nightstand but it seemed like it was so far away when Steve was pressing into his body and his hard erection was just barely brushing the cleft of Thor’s ass. It was overwhelming how much Thor suddenly wanted _this._ This thing he had never wanted before, never thought about for too long. His breath hitched when Steve was back at his neck, pushing aside his hair to look at him.

“Doing okay?” Steve asked him.

Thor turned from the pillow and met his eye, “I’m glad it is you.”

Steve became peacefully still for a moment, a small, surprised smile on his face. Thor twisted and leaned up and kissed Steve once more, feeling the mother man hum into his mouth happily.

“Do you ever wonder how we got here?” Steve asked when they broke apart. “The— the two of us?”

Thor shook his head. “I would not have it any other way.” He smirked, biting his lip. “I wonder more how we were the last ones to notice, if I’m being honest.”

Steve smiled looking away, a familiar, faint blush rising on his cheeks as he pressed his forehead into Thor’s shoulder. “God, tell me about it.” His hands ghosted along Thor’s skin. “Is this okay? You want to keep going?”

“I want it,” Thor replied softly. “I want you.”

The blush on Steve’s face grew a little deeper, and he bit his lip, but Thor could still see him smiling. Suddenly the thought of not seeing that smile while this happened felt wrong. “Come, let me roll over.”

“You sure? Sometimes it’s easier—“

“I want to see you.”

 

 

Steve sat across Thor’s hips, and looked down at Thor. His hair was disheveled and his eyes almost black with lust. Steve could just stare for years if Thor would let him — Thor might let him, he was very accommodating that way. Steve could not say the same for himself. He could barely meet Thor’s eyes as the other man gazed up at him easily. _I’m glad it’s you, I want you._ Steve almost felt like he was lying when Thor said something like that, certain Thor was just blind to the awful truth of it.

“Steve?”

“You sure?” Steve asked again, voice going quiet. “You want… this?” _Me?_

Thor nodded. “I have never been more sure of anything or anyone.”

Steve tried to smile, biting his lip. With a nod he unscrewed the top of the lube and brought his hand between Thor’s legs. His other hand ran comfortingly up and down the outside of Thor’s thick thigh. Thor tensed when Steve slowly pressed in and Steve watched the man force himself to relax. It was a little awkward, and very slow, but after a while Steve had Thor stretched on not one, nor two, but three fingers. A sheen of sweat glistened off of Thor’s chest. Steve twisted his wrist to get a better angle when—

Thor gasped, eyes going wide, staring up at the ceiling as Steve brushed against a spot inside of him that made him see stars. “Do that again!” he gasped out. Steve smiled and obliged, the sound of Thor’s low moan shooting straight to his own hard cock. Steve chased the sound back into Thor’s mouth, pressing his lips eagerly into the other man’s. His fingers slowly worked in and out of Thor, and Thor was grasping the sheets, all but writhing where he lay.

All of a sudden reached up and cupped Steve’s face. “Stop,” he whispered, eyes sliding shut. Steve froze.

“Sorry,” Steve replied. He tried to pull his hand away when Thor grabbed him by the wrist.

“No, it is alright, but by the norns, if you keep that up the night will end far sooner than either of us would like.”

Steve let out a shaky breath, “Yeah?”

“Oh yes,” Thor breathed. He met Steve’s eyes, smiling, before pulling him in and kissing Steve deeply. Steve shuddered a little above Thor, the man’s tongue making him feel as weak and giddy as ever. “Are you ready?” Thor asked.

Without thinking, “Aye,” fell from Steve’s lips. He and Thor stopped for a moment before they grinned. Steve bit his lip to keep from laughing and Thor leaned up to kiss him once more.

“Are you ready?” Steve asked him then.

“Aye.”

They smiled at each other, and Steve felt something warm pool inside of him. He could look at Thor like this for years.

 

 

Thor felt the pressure of Steve pressing against his hole, slick with lube, thicker than his fingers had been. He forced himself to relax once more. He spread his legs a little wider, and reached up for the pillow behind him, biting his lip against a moan spilling from his throat.

It was almost as strange a feeling as Steve’s fingers had been, but then so much more. Thor’s eyes rolled back as Steve brushed against that perfect spot within him — _inside him, inside him!_ — and he could not help but pull Steve close as the other man filled him, pressing their lips together, sloppy and perfect.

Steve was everywhere, _everywhere_ , and that idea more than anything else was slowly driving Thor to the point of release. All he wanted was more; more skin, more hands, more lips so he could feel Steve in all the possible places of his body. He longed for Steve in the very crevasses of his fingertips, against the stretch of his lightning-hot skin, at the place his his core where his heartbeat was too fast and his blood wild.

Steve started thrusting inside of him, and Thor shuddered at each touch of Steve at his prostate. This was like nothing he could have imagined. How had he gone so long without even trying this? At the same time he was happy he waited. All this time, all this waiting meant that Steve got to be the first one here, the first — and hopefully the last, the only one — to make him feel this way. 

He lifted his knee and Steve got the hint, and threw Thor’s leg over his shoulder, the stretch bringing the two of them even closer together. It was like nothing Thor had ever experienced before. And Steve was right; with each thrust Steve it that spot within Thor and it was like lightning. Over and over, and Thor thought he was going blind from the white light flashing in front of his eyes. 

Steve reached down and took Thor’s cock in his hand, and it was all Thor could do to keep from coming right then and there. He let out a loud moan at the feeling of Steve’s palm against his hard member, using the liquid pearling at the tip as lubricant as he started to stroke in time with his thrusts. It was almost too much and still Thor wanted more, wanted Steve everywhere. He pressed their mouths together again, desperate to taste, to feel.

“Steve,” he moaned, surprised at how wrecked his voice was already sounding. Steve ran a hand through Thor’s hair, leaning down to suck at a spot on Thor’s jaw. In all his years Thor never knew that the scrape of teeth at that one spot would leave him moaning loudly, quivering on the bed under Steve. “Norns, Steve what are you doing to me?”

Steve laughed into Thor’s skin and began to thrust even harder, his body growing tenser under Thor’s hand. A small, breathy moan fell from Steve’s lips and the sound shot straight to Thor’s cock.

“Come on, Thor,” Steve whispered. “I want to feel you. I want to feel you come.” The image was like fire in Thor’s mind and he gasped, hips canting up into Steve’s thrusts. “You’re almost there,” Steve encouraged him. He thrust once, twice, and on the third thrust, cock pressing firmly into that spot inside Thor, Thor came with a shout, cock spurting, cum hitting his and Steve’s chest. Steve stroked Thor through it, and pressed into Thor a few more times. He came inside Thor, and the idea of it alone left Thor gasping for air, cock dribbling over Steve’s hand still.

They slowly settled down, breathing evening out as Steve pressed his face into the crook of Thor’s neck, panting after he pulled out of Thor. The empty feeling left Thor unsettled. He reached up and ran his hand through Steve’s hair, down his neck and back, feeling the other man above him and still trying to touch every part of him. Steve sighed into Thor’s skin, and Thor slowly rolled them both over to their side, tangling their legs, pulling Steve in close.

Steve pressed his lips into Thor’s, kissing him so much more deeply and forcefully than usual, and Thor loved it. Steve’s strong body was pressed flush to his, and all Thor could do was give in to the kiss. Something released in him. He was entirely Steve’s now. It felt like a miracle.

It felt like lightning everywhere their skin met.

Steve finally pulled back, breathing deeply. “Was that okay?” he asked.

Thor almost laughed. Steve looked softly concerned, none of the assertiveness from before apparent in his face. Thor smiled and nodded. “It was perfect.”

Steve bit his lip and nodded back. “Okay.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I—“ he stopped himself, and Thor reached over and stroked his face.

“I would see you more confident,” Thor said softly. “You are perfect, I wish you could see it.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“You are. I have thought thus of you since we first met.”

“But why?” Thor could tell from his face that the question left Steve’s lips before Steve could stop it. He looked embarrassed and turned away for a moment, staring down at the bedsheets between them, his cheeks growing red. Thor fought back a smile. “Sorry, I don’t—“

“The only thing you have to be sorry for is not believing that I’m telling the truth.”

Steve did not respond, fingers fiddling with a loose thread coming off of the sheets. Thor let him lay there for a moment quietly. He ghosted his fingers up and down Steve’s bicep, and Steve shivered at the touch.

“Steve?”

“Sorry,” he murmured. “Sorry, I—“ he stopped himself, not meeting Thor’s eye. “I don’t understand what you mean,” he finally said softly.

“I mean what I say. You are perfect. Do you think I would let anyone share what we had just now? It was meant to be you. I would not have it any other way. If you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d understand.”

“Okay,” he replied. He did not sound convinced.

Thor took his head in his hands and their eyes met. “Hear me, Steve. You are perfect. You are worthy.”

Steve let out a soft breath, and slowly a smile grew on his face. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Thor’s and softly relaxed into the other man. They fell into a light sleep, comfortable and warm. In the freezer there was ice cream for later, and by the door of the apartment, Mjölnir lay peacefully next to the shield.

And it was perfect.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been Betsy, thanks for reading! ([tumblr](http://batraquomancy.tumblr.com))


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